CP Rehab gets a special visitor

Twas the night after Christmas...CPK Santa and his trusty Rudolph had a nagging feeling in all the hustle and bustle of the season they may have forgotten something...or someone.

"Rudy, are you sure we visited all the good little boys and girls? I've got a bad feeling about this."

So CPK Santa saddled up Rudy, and they set out to find that one overlooked Kid.

When they finally found little Albie Osbert he was overjoyed at being remembered. Unfortunately in his haste, CPK Santa had forgotten to bring his bag of gifts. A little tentatively he asked what little Albie wanted as a present.

Albie replied, "Growing up without a home there's one thing I always dreamed about...having my very own pony!" 

CPK Santa thought about this realized, "What is wrong with a pony?"

Merry Christmas from all of us at CP Rehab! Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday season!

A good clean scrub

Once we've welcomed the Kids into the facility and surveyed their needs, everyone gets some suds. Our patent-pending CP Rehab Rejuvenation Process (CPRRP-Pro) is available where fine products are sold. The operating theater:

Baking soda works wonders on many stains and has the benefit of absorbing some odors. And some of these Kids arrive with a distinct pee-yew. Hydrogen peroxide is another effective cleaner.

"I feel like I lost a snowball fight."

Then it's time for a dip in the whirlpool. Here at CP Rehab we have a unit custom-built to fit a Kid's dimensions. (in a previous life, it washed skeins of yarn)

Once they're lathered up, in they go!

Kids give the immersive experience of the CPRRP-Pro a thumbs up!

 

 

"I'm a new me!"

Head shots

After surveying the needs of their little bodies, we turn to the condition of their soiled heads and faces. The most common ailment is old-fashioned dirt and grime, as you'd expect with any Kid.

"Mud pies are a staple of my diet!"

At times the level of filth can make Kids look like walking dead zombies. Look at the crud around those potty mouths!

 

"I don't need to floss until I have teeth."

These Kids will need a good scrubbing, but some of them arrive with more permanent marks made by a marker or pen. Most common are Kids with ink added to accentuate their mouths. "Maybe it's Bic, maybe it's Maybelline."

And here's a red-accented dimple that will need attention.

"Hey I paid a lot for that tattoo of the night sky!"

Finally, there are some cases where we don't even want to know what sort of Oliver Twist-like life a Kid has lived before they get to us. What we do know is that they'll need some good old fashioned TLC. "Please, sir, may I have some more?"

Bumps and bruises

After many years of ill-use, rough-housing, or being stashed away in attics, the Kids arrive at Cabbage Patch Rehab with a variety of ailments. A first step in our process is to do a survey of what care they might need.

In their rough-and-tumble little lives the Kids often have developed stains or other discoloring. Their extremities usually bear the brunt. They are always sticking their hands and arms in the darnedest places, and it shows. Even if they claim, "That's not dirt, it's a beauty mark!"

We know better. Anywhere their hands can go their feet will follow, with predictable results...

Their little legs are probably consistently the worst for wear. Somehow these Kids just can't avoid slip-sliding in the dirt. "You think I'm filthy? You should see the other kid."

And some of them just plunk their bum down anywhere. Want to hear a dirty joke? A little Kid fell into a mud puddle...

Cabbage Patch Kids on parade!

Turns out we're not the only ones who are feeling the tug of nostalgia for Cabbage Patch Kids.  Two momentous events were announced this week.

 

First, the National Toy Hall of Fame made the Kids one of four inductees this year, joining other classics such as baseball cards and Nerf toys.

https://www.museumofplay.org/exhibits/toy-hall-of-fame/inducted-toys/

You may be wondering, as we did, it's been forty years, how were the Kids not already in there? But it's great the Kids are getting some recognition and attention.

 

Second, there's even more attention coming at the end of the month with the release of a documentary called "Billion Dollar Babies". If you click on "watch" you can find the nearest showing. (Obviously we already have our tickets reserved!)

https://www.cabbagepatchfilm.com/

Among other things, the movie will tell the story of the insanity surrounding the first CPK craze in the early 1980s. We recapped here:

https://cabbagepatchrehab.blogspot.com/2023/10/the-way-things-used-to-be.html

Or watch the movie trailer here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=rNnBd_O80-E

 

Our Kids can't wait to see themselves up in lights. "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille!"

Finally, we would be remiss if we didn't take a moment to mark this year's Veteran's day. GI Joey salutes you!

 

Everyone off the bus

To survive the sometimes long and arduous trek to the Cabbage Patch Rehab facility, the Kids have to protect themselves from bumps and bruises.

They often come boxed...

 And bagged...

And layered...

Or bubbled...

 

 

Or shrink wrapped for...freshness?

"I'm a bubble girl!"

"Hep me. Ahm being aw-fix-ee-ay-tid."

Or a combination of everything, like the legendary ebay mummy...

Very occasionally, Kids come in their original box. But that packaging is usually the worse for wear after four decades. (Aren't we all?) If you look really closely at the third photo you'll see a rare artifact--a K-Mart sticker.

Now we know we're biased, but it sure seems as though the Kids emerge from their travels happy and ready to join the others on this new adventure.

With everyone here, we can begin the fun task of reviving these Kids!